okay so , I'm in need of a good vent and I'm hoping this forum will be the perfect place to get it all out before I go bonkers ... so here goes :
As most of you know we are planning for our wedding this year in august. When we decided to finally get it over and done with my Mother said that her and my dad would really like to help out and would like to pay for the dress, the hall and the food for the reception. I happily accepted and continued with the planning thinking nothing of it ....then came the dress shopping .....I looked everywhere I could including four dress shops in and around fredericton and countless websites for THE perfect dress. After I had gone to a couple shops, I was very disapointed that most dresses I liked on the shelf looked horrible on me ...and like any mother would she told me to press on , the dress for you will show up eventually. Then comes our trip to wild orchid , with her and my maid of honor we chose 10 dresses to try on (all ranging from 700-1300$). I tried them on and found one that was perfect ! ...Still I decided to keep looking just in case , and even looked for the same dress for cheaper ..anywhere ..to no avail . I then get a call from my mother saying that she thinks I should wait and look in moncton , st. john , bangor ..etc . I try and explain to her that I don't want another dress I wanted that one (and the extra money in all the traveling would pay for the dress itself ) and I understood it was expensive but that I would gladly pay for half if they couldn't afford it ..We had to order it then , because it takes 4-5 months to come in and she's closing her shop in june ....So that was fine , we ordered the dress , and she paid for all of it after i knew she secretly didn't want to. Then comes the church and reception hall , which she argued that she wanted it to be in fredericton ,not in harvey where we live , and where josh's grandmother is buried (which is very important to josh )because it would be inconvenient for Her side of the family. Then music for the dance , which she wanted a band (because she could get one for free) and we want a DJ, so that we can have all different types of music instead of just one. Then one day I was looking at invitation verses and told her about one I liked with summer & addison's names in it with ours , and well she kinda flipped out ...saying that their names had to be on it and that was how it was supposed to be done ..etc etc ...which i don't even really mind , I just never knew it was quite sooo important. I also received a call from my grandmother after that conversation with a great big guilt trip about how much they are doing to to help me out , that I should at least mention them on the invitations ... and i felt like saying ..I'm sorry that because she insists on paying for everything that I can't let her make all the decisions as she aparently had believed when she told me ...Add on to that that we're trying to figure out who will be the master of ceremonies , and after me and josh discussed it we thought that one of his uncles would do a great job , my mother didn't agree...lol ..She informs me that the MC has to be from the bride's family (which I know is not true because our aunt and uncle just got married and the mc was from our family not hers) . . I'm to the point now where I think a beach wedding somewhere hot would be alot less stressful.
Amongst all of this , the girls are getting baptized this weekend and we're having everyone over for dinner afterwards , my parent's 25th wedding anniversary is this year and we're planning a huge surprise party for them in may , so I have to keep dodging remarks about their anniversary so they won't figure it out. Josh is going away to school in a month so we need to pool our money and pay bills so we don't get behind all while trying to save money for the party and the wedding ....lol . And Summer's and Josh's birthdays are coming up , i'm trying to get my brother out of jail (another story for another day) for a few days to come to the party .....As you can see on on the verge of pulling my hair out ...so if ya see a bald lady running around crazy in the grocery store with two girls , you'll know that's me .....
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Posted by *Candace* at 9:51 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Oh girl I have BEEN THERE! I got guilted out of and into a couple of things with my wedding too and we paid for pretty much all of it ourselves! Families think that weddings and babies are subject to everyone and anyone's opinion. It's really frustrating! You're right though, just because she is paying for some things doesn't mean she has free reign on decisions. This is YOURS and JOSH'S wedding, not hers to redo. Maybe sit her down and talk to her and tell her you're feeling pressured into things you don't want for YOUR wedding.
I would just try and make it clear that this is YOUR day, you can do that without being a total... well you know what.
Candace, you're really freaking me out here! I'm scared enough to start planning, i don't need you "helping" me along!!! lol But really...it's YOUR (and i suppose Josh's to an extent :P) day. Do what you want. I agree you need to sit your mom down and explain your vision for your wedding. Aske her what and why she thinks is important, and if you end up agreeing, great! but if not, make sure she knows that you only plan on doing this once, so you wanna make sure you do it the way you want!! lol theres no do-overs :P
Post a Comment